LIFESTYLES OF THE BROKE AND WUTLISS

Jamaicans have mastered the art of delusion.

Jamaicans are delusional about most things, but especially about financial matters. My claims are specifically directed towards a group of particularly quixotic Kingstonians, but make no mistakes; we are all culturally infected with the same disease.

Lets establish a few facts:

• Jamaica’s debt burden is over139% of GDP (almost as high as Greece’s, in real terms, but higher in terms of the size of the economy)
•  The country had three consecutive quarters of contraction last year, which means we are officially back in recession after a very brief respite.
•   According to the Statistical Institutes 2012 labour force survey, the unemployment rate in May 2012, went up to 14.1%, from a stellar 12.9% the previous year. (The unemployment rate does not reflect persons who have dropped out of the labour force entirely and further still, the unemployment rate for youth16-24, is much much higher than the average of the overall population).

Now lets be clear, individuals do not live their lives based on national statistics, nor should they be expected to. However, national context can influence individual financial health. On the surface the upper class Jamaican party lifestyle would have outsiders believing that the country is holding firm and steady economically.

We are just exiting the Christmas season, AKA raving season which is marked by the bombardment of facebook party pictures of the most elegantly coiffed, poised, well dressed, perfect human beings. Christmas is generally a time for celebration, and celebrate we do. What bothers me however, is that the same faces we see in party pictures throughout the year, resurface with a ferocious frequency during this season. Two to three all- inclusive parties during this season can cost upwards of 25,000 JMD. Not to mention the general cost of ‘hot girl/ hot boy’ maintenance which, for just clothes hair and nails, may rack up a monthly bill of 15,000 JMD (conservative estimate).

Lets do some math (not to worry, its all subtraction):

The average college educated young professional in Jamaica, makes a monthly salary of between 40- 80 thousand dollars, if you’re really lucky. Lets be generous and say and individual gets to take home a whole 80 thousand after taxes (lies). If we have well-established parents we can avoid paying rent by living at home. For those of us fortunate enough to have a car, this comes with a car note (at least 20,000/month), gas expenses (another 20,000).

But would you look at that!! Half the salary is gone and we haven’t handled quarterly expenses of car insurance, nor have we touched on that pesky students loan, much less actual sustenance.

Realistically the average Jamaican professional, below the age of 30, takes home 50,000 JMD per month. Of course, there are many of us who are able to claim a much higher salary, but not that many. That means this is an illusion:

 

 

 

 

At any given time, half the crowd that shows up to many of these events, should not be there. That means many of us are living a LIE!!!

The fortunate few who have advanced degrees or become bank managers early in their careers, will maybe have a bit more wiggle room with regards to salaries, since they could take home upwards of 150,000 a month after taxes. Lets be real, there are only so many banks in Jamaica, and only so many managers under 30.

Jamaican society has always been marked by a privileged few; the money-makers, job creators, political movers and takers. But lets face it, it takes thousands of persons to have built and sustain the party industry to the level that it is in Jamaica. There are niche areas of the party market (especially the more exclusive, all-inclusives) that have inelastic demand. The seductive powers of the culture of exclusivity has so enthralled the masses, that we seem to have all lost ourselves in a culture of showmanship and escapism.

Stuntin’ around these parts, isn’t just a habit, it’s a priority. In many people’s minds, if they don’t keep up, they will get left behind. I have spoken to many of my counterparts who feel they have two options: dig themselves into a hole of moral and financial iniquity for keeping up appearances, or be overcome by the scourge of bad mind.

This mentality is encouraged by the fact that we are financially illiterate, and simply have not done the math. Do the math. It will unearth the LIES.

 

Unlike our parents’ generation, most of us delay marriage and children, so of course, our lives look much different. The young adult/ extended adolescent period of between 18 and 30 should be used to ground ourselves personally and financially so we can eventually stand as independent adults. Yet we are too distracted living a lie, to do the necessary work that the 20s requires. Of course we should have a good time, that’s what ‘youth’ is for. But when will we figure out that this big lie is sucking the fun out of life? Do you know how annoying it is to be completely in your element at a party and be stopped mid dutty wine for a picture? Because if its not photographed it didn’t happen right? In the facebook age of flossing, what you wore and whom you were with, are far more important than how you feel.

Class and status are the ultimate demarcations of Jamaican society. The notion of class is as deeply entrenched as the idea of race in America. It pleases us greatly to rub shoulders with the descendants of the few families with real economic control. In an effort to keep up with the Jones’ (read, Mattalon’s, Hendrickson’s and Issa’s), many of us lose ourselves in an unsustainable lifestyle of debt and stagnation. Us Kingstonians who happen to live above the half way tree clock, feel we have arrived. We forget the realities of the sacrifices made by our parents to get us to where we are. We have no idea how much our lives actually cost. What is the real price (emotional, financial, spiritual) our lifestyle?

Yes, you live in Cherry Gardens now. But that’s not your house. It belongs to your parents, or the bank. You, my dear, have not shit. In fact, you may even have negative shit, judging by the fact that in today’s world acquiring a tertiary education probably means acquiring debt.

There are many forms of indebtedness. Now let’s talk about whoring*. (You can congratulate me on the crassness of that segue later).

I couldn’t possibly talk about the lifestyles of the broke and wutliss without addressing wutlissness, now could I? These lives are subsidized by vaginal and penal transactions. I was talking with an acquaintance that works in a high-end swimwear store in Kingston. At this store it is possible to buy the most up to date collections of swim-wear and accessories that can be found in the western hemisphere. Her store is never empty. She makes it clear that if a week goes by, in which she doesn’t have at least two customers every day- that is cause for concern. Women regularly spend upwards of 1000 USD** at once in the store. That is to say, they don’t just show up, they show out. My acquaintance revealed some interesting facts: many of these women were shopping from the same account. That is to say, wifey, matie and girlfriend are dipping in the same crawny pool (in more ways than one). But hey….at least they look fly at  the beach. Didn’t you know? It’s a crime against humanity to show up to maiden cay in anything but a yatch. Never mind that it’s somebody else’s.

Go ahead and sparkle boo! 

 

 

  

We’ve developed a myriad of excesses on someone else’s dime. After you acquire the right shoes and the right clothes, of course you need the right car. It’s hard to tell just one lie. If this lifestyle can’t be sustained by one transactional relationship, it’s on to the next. Never mind, that the benefactor has dipped into government coffers to maintain everyone’s habits.

Life is in the details- you prefer your images a bit out of focus.

It is basically a guarantee that many of us will hit 35 without a ‘pot to piss in’ or any idea of how to feed ourselves, much less our children. Nevertheless, the only time we are encouraged to talk about money is to lie about it. I have encountered very few people will dare to utter the words ‘I can’t afford it’.

The next time, I find myself swept up with the currents, I will ask myself- can I really afford the life I live? I advise you do the same.

*Listen, I may not personally be about that life, but do what you do. No judgment. I just call a spade a spade: transactional sex= whoring. Also, I know as many guilty young men as women.

**No judgment until you start frequenting swimwear shops dropping 1000 USD in one sitting. Have you no business plan?